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donutsornonuts:

We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.

(via br00klyn-fantasy)

Source: donutsornonuts
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  • Question: Watching television, something I rarely do and for good reason. An ad for the "Boflex Machine" comes on. Some chick decided to lose seven pounds off her already perfect figure and says she looks great. I throw my hands up and let out a half-sigh half-yell and go back to checking if I can see my belly past my boobs. I can't. It is a good day for me, but not for some unfortunate bottle-blonde can-tanned woman who thinks you need a work out machine to look great. - Anonymous
  • Answer:

    I once lived in a house with a bowflex. It was used to hand laundry to dry.

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skimcheese:

caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas:

madeagoestohell:

unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person 

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I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER

(via pizza)

Source: emojigrl
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wolife:

This is what remains of the Knightridge Space Observatory, built outside Bloomington Indiana in the mind 1930s.  It was eventually abandoned due to obsolescence and the encroachment of the city.

Quite an interesting place to visit once you make your way in from the highway through the underbrush.  The telescope that was once in it has been long removed and the rotating dome seems rusted in place, the periphery of the floor seemed pretty sturdy but the center was rotted through.

Source: wolife
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thisisjustgreat:

My friends say I’m super random and elephant, pterodactyl fungi.

Source: thisisjustgreat
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blujayonthewing:

The other reason I want a shillelagh is so I can learn how to beat the shit out of someone with it

Source: blujayonthewing
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artunderus:

JOE LOUIS

(DETROIT)  Through this door walked a young Joe Louis.  This is the community center in the Brewster Douglass projects where Joe Louis learned to box - now abandoned.  The projects are almost all gone.  Replaced with prairie grass.  The big hockey arena is called the Joe Louis Arena.  But this place…historic and beautiful is vacant and smells like piss.  I hear that soon they will have a new hockey arena while at the same time there isn’t enough money to even plough this building down.  Detroit is complex.  

Paul

Source: artunderus
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Why are its eyes glowing? Time to move.

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My favorite thing about living in a college town is that Urgent Care doesn’t pry much.

(in today for a dislocated shoulder, I didn’t LIE… I said “well I probably wasn’t jousting with broomsticks on the balcony ledge, and even if I *was* I doubt I’d do that intoxicated enough to lose my balance” and it’s true, i was neither jousting nor intoxicated)

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theraginazian:

desmond-the-creppy-bear:

srsfunny:

Soft rocks…
http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

can you imagine though

you send your enemies a rather large amount of these in various sizes. you leave no return address or explanation. they open all the boxes to discover these wondrous pillows. they are reluctant to keep them but eventually they give in and integrate them into their home like the above pictures. after a few weeks or even months, theyve gotten accustomed to having them in their home and routinely relax in a large pile of the odd pillows. until one night you just take every single one back and replace them with actual rocks of the same dimensions so that when its time for them to relax and unwind from their day day fall into a pile of hard unmoving boulders. they break their spine and are paralyzed. you have won

What the fuck is wrong with you…

(via stability)

Source: srsfunny